Resisting the urge to include extensive detail when writing a screenplay as you would when writing a novel is a difficult challenge for a screenwriter to overcome. Most writers who choose the screenwriting field do so because they think in film -- they imagine their stories unfolding shot by shot, scene by scene, image by image.
The job of the screenwriter is to convey those vivid images and scenes to the reader. This is often confused with the director's job of determining how certain scenes should be filmed. Deciding where to place the cameras, which actors to focus on, and when to pan or when to include a close-up are all factors that will be up to the director, not the writer.
So the question remains. How can you, as the writer, direct the reader's mind to imagine your film as you envisioned it, shot by shot and image by image?
The answer -- through the use of white space.
One immediately noticeable difference between script format and manuscript format is the amount of white space included on every page of a script. In a screenplay, the ratio of blank space to text is high.
White space is the screenwriter's ally.
How does the use of white space help you? First, breaking your action and description into smaller sections makes the script seem as if it reads quickly, giving the reader the effect that your story also moves quickly. A story that moves quickly is more likely to hold a reader's attention.
Smaller sections of action draw the reader's eye down the page. Screenwriters should make their best effort to limit sections of action and description to a maximum of five or six lines. Several consecutive smaller sections of action will appeal to a reader more than one large paragraph of action.
Second, it provides the writer with a method of delivering the story shot by shot, in essence "directing" the film as it plays through the reader's mind.
Screenwriters should not write the screenplay by directing the camera shots, since describing specific camera angles serves as a reminder to the readers that they are reading a script. Your goal is to get readers so caught up in your story they forget they're reading a script.
Camera directions should be reserved for the shooting script and the director. Screenwriters must use the writing of action and description to depict the story exactly as they want the readers to see it in their mind. The best way to achieve this is by breaking that description into smaller pieces, illustrating the action step by step based on how you envision the shots on screen.
A terrific example of this can be found in the following excerpt from Steven de Souza's and Jeb Stuart's Die Hard script:
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The doors to a service elevator open TO REVEAL HANS GRUBER, impeccably dressed, lean and handsome, he steps out into the lobby like he owns the building - and in a way he does.
Theo steps to the door of the control room and tosses Hans a COMPUTER CARD.
Hans goes to the front door, waves the card over a magnetic plate. An LED BLINKS and the door LOCKS with a THUD.
Hans looks out at the street. Appropriately enough, "not a creature is stirring." Century City is quiet.
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Notice that although this is one scene with continuous action, the action is broken up into smaller pieces. On the script page itself, none of these sections of action is more than three lines long. Each of those pieces represents a shot:
Shot #1 - The elevator door opens and Hans emerges.
Shot #2 - Theo enters the room and gives Hans the computer card.
Shot #3 - Hans uses the card to lock the door.
Shot #4 - Hans surveys the quiet street.
As the reader, you get a clear mental image of each shot as the action unfolds. Breaking the description into smaller pieces does not disrupt the flow of the action. In fact, it propels the action forward. It reads quickly, and offering the action in smaller segments creates a rhythm.
Smaller sections also mean fewer words. As a screenwriter you must learn to write economically — using as few words as possible to describe the action — and your description must be crafted using the most vivid words you can find to portray the image.
Standard disclaimer: Please note, web browsers do not allow for the presentation of a screenplay in its correct format. Excerpts and examples of screenplays found in these articles should not be used as examples of proper screenplay format. To learn how to properly format your screenplay, David Trottier's The Screenwriter's Bible: A Complete Guide to Writing, Formatting, and Selling Your Script is an excellent reference.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent post..Keep them coming :)
Thanks for sharing.
Mr. Cramer,
I owe you a debt of gratitude. I am not green as a screenwriter, however, as I am rewriting the first draft of my first spec, pilot script for a dramatic television series, I have encountered a few challenges. I am happy to state that I’m confident that when I apply the principle of the White Space Technique as described by you, it will overcome them all.
Thank you for the assistance to a fellow artist and God Bless you for your generosity.
–H.L. Sorrell
As an aspiring screenwriter, i often notice contradictions in lessions or rules, even from the same source, like this one.
I linked to this article from “Don’t Let These Problems Ruin Your Screenplay”, where one of the rules was about not using CAPITALIZED WORDS as they distract the reader and “reminds them they’re reading a script”.
Yet here, you use an example that uses all caps 4 times, 3 being in 1 sentence.
I googled “screenwriting, capitalizing words” and found “DLTPRYS”, read the bit about it, linked here, showed the near opposite.
Still, i wonder about the limits of proper capitalization.
Hoe-hum.
Hi Norton,
The Die Hard script is a great reference for learning about white space and certain other aspects of screenwriting, but you’re right about it not being a good example of avoiding the use of capitalized words. It’s important to keep one thing in mind: there are trends in screenwriting just like in anything else. As I mentioned in Don’t Let These Problems Ruin Your Screenplay, capitalizing words for emphasis was very popular in the 80s and early 90s, but it has become less popular since then. Back when Die Hard was written, it was common to to come across scripts with several capitalized words on every page. That trend has mostly faded now.
The changing landscape definitely makes it challenging to stay up-to-date on which practices readers like versus which practices they don’t like. The best way to do that is to read scripts for new movies as often as possible.
If your screenplay is terrific, readers won’t mind a handful of capitalized words one way or the other as long as you don’t go overboard.
~ Kris