While working as a freelance script consultant, it was my job to help writers raise the quality of their writing to the highest level attainable. In the course of any given day, I came across a problem appearing in each of the scripts crossing my desk, and I have since noticed the same problem cropping up in book after book.
The problem? The unnecessary "that."
It is a wonder how one little word could worm its way so firmly into the hearts and minds of writers, yet the word "that" has done just . . . well, that.
The word "that" has become ingrained in our daily vocabulary, and many people have difficulty recognizing how often it is misused. It pops up in sentence upon sentence, yet nine times out of ten it is not needed. In a screenplay or manuscript, where space is limited and every inch of text is precious, unnecessary words are a death sentence.
Consider the following sentence:
"She was so tired that she nearly fell asleep at the wheel."
Throwing a "that" into the middle of a sentence cuts sharply into the flow of the words, causing an uncomfortably staccato effect. As writers, we want our words to roll smoothly through the reader's mind, flowing naturally from sentence to sentence. The choppy interruption caused by an unnecessary "that" is what we strive to avoid.
Now, consider the same sentence with the word "that" removed:
"She was so tired she nearly fell asleep at the wheel."
Has the meaning been changed by removing the word "that"? No, not at all. In fact, the sentence is streamlined and flows much more smoothly without the word "that" buried in the center.
In reviewing the common usage of the word "that," you'll find most instances of the word are unwarranted. We've reached the point where we use it out of habit instead of necessity. The writing contained in a screenplay or manuscript should be based on necessity, on using as few words as possible to convey your intended meaning. Using "that" where it isn't needed only detracts from the quality of your material.
Review your screenplays and manuscripts with a fine-toothed comb — or better yet, a red pen — and cross out every unnecessary "that" you encounter. If you're unsure of whether a "that" is really necessary, read the sentence aloud a few times, leaving out the word. If the sentence still makes sense without including the "that", the word isn't needed.
Here are a few examples to get you started on the path to eliminating the unnecessary "that":
UNNECESSARY
She told me that she would be home in time for dinner.
I can't believe that he's capable of murder.
He was at home the night that she was murdered.
Make sure that you know what sort of person you're dealing with.
She glances at the photo that is sitting on the nightstand.
NECESSARY
The minute he laid eyes on her, he realized he'd never truly loved anyone until that moment.
Do you remember what you saw that night?
That she had a fiery temper was already a well-known fact.
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I started a new job about 2 years ago where I had to document a lot. When I first started submitting papers my superiors pointed out how many times I used "that" and I realized how it had seeped into everything I wrote. I went back to my novel and used MS word to highlight every instance of "that" in the document. There were thousands. It was the most used word over four letters in my entire novel besides names. I cut out approximately 1700 words by going through and deleting all the unnecessary ones.
Hi Dean,
Isn't it amazing how we use the word so often without even realizing it? The more aware of it you are, the more you notice it being used all over the place, even where it's not needed. What amazes me the most is when it turns up in news headlines. If the goal is to make the headline sound catchy while keeping it as concise as possible, you'd expect somewhere along the way the writer or editor would realize the unnecessary "that" could be removed to make the headline even more concise.
~ Kris
She glances at the photo that is sitting on the nightstand.
I believe this sentence still needs the word "that", unless your remove the entire prhrase, "that is sitting"; otherwis , you will be left with a dangling participle. Who is sitting on the nightstand, the photo or the lady?
Hi Bubba,
If "sitting on the nightstand" modified the woman instead of the photo, it would be written like this:
"She, sitting on the nightstand, glances at the photo."
But, you're right about the sentence not being as pretty as it could be. :)
~ Kris
These examples are fine, as far as they go, but they refer to only one possible usage of "that." I don't mind that Kris has been so restrictive, but to say (that) you can eliminate that word nine times in ten? That's crazy.
Oh, as to the woman and the nightstand–it's a comma that makes the distinction.
1) She glances at the photo sitting on the nightstand.
2) She glances at the photo, sitting on the nightstand (although of course this reads better as "Sitting on the nightstand, she glances at the photo").