Don't Let These Problems Ruin Your Screenplay

Writing visually is not only about crafting words that flow smoothly and evoke vivid imagery. It is also about not including words that detract from that imagery or interrupt the flow. The screenwriter's goal is to create a script in which the writing flows so smoothly the reader becomes part of the story, watching it from within.

Here are some problems aspiring screenwriters should avoid when writing a spec script:

"We hear" or "We see"

Phrases such as "We hear" and "We see" should never appear in a spec script. They momentarily force readers outside the story. You want the reader to become so involved in your story she forgets the rest of the world exists. You want readers to live and breathe your story as they read it.

The imagery evoked by your words should drive what we're seeing or hearing as readers. Phrases like "We see" and "We hear" make the reader feel as if he or she is part of an external audience, not part of the story itself. Instead of reinforcing the idea the reader is immersed in a powerful story, those phrases do nothing but remind her she's holding a script.

Camera directions such as “PAN” and “CLOSE UP”

Avoid the use of camera directions to describe shots in a spec script. Once your script becomes a film in production, camera angles and shots will become the responsibility of the director and the director of photography.

As a screenwriter, your responsibility is to craft words that trigger the desired imagery so those individual "shots" move naturally through the reader's mind.

When writing a script, screenwriters have a very vivid mental picture of the images they are trying to convey. Most of us think in film, meaning we imagine our story unfolding as a series of images or visual scenes. The best way for a writer to direct the script is to format the description in such a way the shots appear to separate themselves. This is called the White Space technique. With the correct use of this technique, you can pace your script and divide each image as if it were its own shot.

As you write your script, imagine where you would change the camera angle or shot. At that point, begin a new paragraph of description. Keep your paragraphs shorter for a rapidly paced scene and slightly longer (but still only a few sentences!) to maintain a slower paced scene. For more detail on the best ways to use the White Space technique in your script, check out the article conveniently titled White Space.

Beginning and ending each page with (CONTINUED)

At one time, screenwriters were required to begin and end each page with the (CONTINUED) notation to indicate, obviously, the script continued onto the next page. Later, the (CONTINUED) at the top of the page was ditched but the one at the bottom of the page was retained. In the past decade, the use of (CONTINUED) at either the top or bottom of the page has been almost entirely abandoned. It is no longer a requirement and is sometimes viewed as more of a nuisance than anything else.

The main reason you shouldn't bother to include (CONTINUED) at the top and bottom of each page is that it wastes a significant amount of space. It requires two lines at the top of the page and another two lines at the bottom. In a 90-page script, those extra four lines per page can amount to several pages of wasted space. In a screenplay, space is a precious commodity that definitely should not be wasted. And, as Denny Martin Flinn notes in his book, How NOT to Write a Screenplay, "Anyone reading your screenplay who doesn't know he's supposed to turn the page is a numskull."

POV (indicating the camera's point of view)

POV is a camera direction, not a writing technique. Do not use a POV notation unless the imagery seen from one character's point of view is distinctly different from the rest of the scene and, more importantly, that difference is integral to the plot.

The scene below provides an example of an inappropriate use of the POV technique.

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In the above example, the image of the children running under the table is part of the overall scene. A shot of the children crawling under the table could be taken from any of several different camera angles and does not specifically require John’s POV. The POV is not integral to the storyline and is not separate from the rest of the kitchen scene, so it is not necessary.

Always remember, camera angles are the realm of the director and the director of photography, not the writer. There is no need to forfeit two lines of space in your screenplay for an unnecessary camera direction.

Transitions such as “CUT TO” and “DISSOLVE TO”

Spelling out transitions is another technique reserved for a shooting script. You should not use transitions in your spec script.

A transition indicates the movement from one scene to the next. This event is already indicated by the use of a slugline defining the new location and time of day. Since the new slugline has already made the reader aware of the shift from one scene to the next, the transition simply takes up space, and space is a precious commodity in a script.

I've heard many writers attempt to justify their use of transitions… "I wanted to let the reader feel the intensity of the scene by cutting it off with a CUT TO," or, "I wanted to let the reader know time had passed by using a DISSOLVE TO."

Your story and the quality of your writing, not your transition, should cause the reader to feel the intensity of the scene. If your story isn't already intense, no amount of CUT TO's is going to make it that way. CUT TO's are only going to interrupt the smooth flow of your words and cause the reader's eyes to jump across the page.

When the script is put into production, the director and editor will determine which type of transition is used, and their decisions will be noted in the shooting script.

Capitalization of specific words to draw attention

In the 80's and 90's, the use of capitalization throughout a script in order to draw attention to specific words became trendy — so trendy, in fact, some writers tended to capitalize fifteen or more words per page, not even including the appropriate capitalization of sluglines, first-appearance character names, and dialogue headers.

Writers capitalize words in this manner with the intent to force a more vivid image into the reader's mind, but using capitalization doesn't necessarily create a more vivid image. Instead, the capitalization makes the sentence visually awkward and detracts from the mental imagery of the scene. It cuts into the flow of the sentence and forces the reader's eyes to stop and adjust. And what happens whenever readers must stop and adjust? They remember they're reading a script, which is exactly what you don't want. In order to avoid constantly reminding people they're reading a script, your writing must flow visually, and capitalizing words halts that flow.

Many writers mistakenly believe sounds, objects or actions to which the writer wishes to add emphasis must always be capitalized. Capitalization does have its uses, and those uses can occasionally have the desired effect of evoking a sense of urgency or intensity, but only when used sparingly.

Your choice of words, not the capitalization of those words, should be what adds focus to a specific object or action. If a word or descriptive phrase doesn't possess the impact you feel it should, check out my previous article titled Selecting the Most Powerful Words for Your Novel or Screenplay, or simply open a thesaurus and find a more intense and dramatic word to use in its place.

Standard disclaimer: Please note, web browsers don't allow for the presentation of a screenplay in its correct format. Excerpts and examples of screenplays found in these articles should not be used as examples of proper screenplay format. To learn how to properly format your screenplay, David Trottier’s The Screenwriter’s Bible: A Complete Guide to Writing, Formatting, and Selling Your Script is an excellent reference.

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